Thursday, September 9, 2010

Sleep begets sleep

Things last night were good...really good.  Yessssss. 

The night before that however, yeah it was awful! lol.  And then yesterday, I suppose I had some sort of mixture of sleep deprived grouchiness and hormones and that combined to make a major breakdown...poor Bruce.  I don't understand why that happens sometimes.  I mean I had this patch where I felt horrid and angry and just plain mad at the world who I felt was screwing me.  Cried for about 45 minutes and then I came out of it and I swear it was like that person who was wailing 45 minutes before was someone other than myself.  I mean, I didn't even mean anything that I was saying and the feelings that I was having were so not the way I actually feel about life.  Am I crazy?  Do other people have these sorts of episodes, where someone else takes over your brain for a bit, makes you feel terrible, and then just like that, its gone and you're yourself again?  hmmm, maybe I shouldn't admit to this....maybe I AM crazy?  ;)

Today I took Taylor to the mall which was a total blast.  I hadn't taken her there in awhile and she is so much more aware of things around her these days so it was just plain awesome!  She was literally squealing in delight over seeing so many other kids.  I took her into the Disney store and I think she went into a state of rapture.  Of course we had to buy a Disney princess soccer ball which she insisted on carrying around the whole time we were there.  (which wouldn't have been any sort of problem, however I was carrying her in a sling so it was kind of annoying lol)

When I was there I was watching the other moms a bit.  It's so wierd to me, a lot of moms totally treat their kids like accessories, not like amazing little people.  I may have look like a complete idiot, but everywhere we go, I talk to Taylor, gabbering about nonsense, spinning, laughing, know, just having fun.  She is my buddy, and just as much as I do this stuff so that she has fun, I have fun too.  It seems like people do lots to entertain their kids that doesn't really involve interacting.  I find so much joy in playing with my little T.  Sure it means busting my bunsies (haha) doing it, but I love her.

Maybe I am just a little kid in a big body, but hey, I will continue to speak jibberish...don't judge.  ;)

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