Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Comfortable patience

So it's a new year.  Resolutions...  We all want to lose a few lbs...uninteresting resolution.  There are so many many things that I wold love to "resolve" to do to become a better person but it would be nearly impossible to lump them all together at once and just for the sake of having a "new years resolution" if you ask me.  So, what do I constantly struggle with........

It's hard to describe it, but on most days, I feel the drive to get out of the house.  To go somewhere, not because I need to, but just for the sake of going somewhere.  And so I spend the first part of the morning trying to put my brain around whatever it is that I have made up as needing to get done in my mind.  I play with the babies, feed them, put Lucas down for his morning nap, all the while distracted by my ficticious "must do".  I HAVE to get my shower so that we can get out the door once he wakes up.  Yes Taylor, mommy will play with you, but her brain is somewhere else.  I don't like this!!!  It isn't comfortable and it isn't going to change unless I make it change. 

So this morning I began.  It is 3:00, I've been nowhere, not showered, and I'm not certain that I brushed my teeth, BUT I have been fully present with my little ones and we have been having a blast.  No I am not saying that I'm never leaving the house again, however, I need to get these senseless trips stopped.  Given the choice between a morning of relaxed, engaging playing at home and a rushed senseless trip to the mall, to grocery store, or somewhere of the sort, I'm pretty sure my little friends would choose staying in!  I have no idea if any of his makes sense, but in my mind, it does, so I suppose that's all that matters.  I hereby resolve to be a fully present mother and say ttfn to the useless excursions!!!!